Avoid Negative People
Hey guys whats up? This is JC from Total Body Training, where I help people Get Lean, Gain Muscle and Build Confidence. Today we are going to Talk about Avoiding Negative people.
That’s right, I am Talking about Negative Nancy, Pissy Peter, Kelvin Killjoy… Avoid negative People
Inevitability, we will encounter naysayers in our lives.
I hadn’t really thought about the importance of avoiding people like this
until I read a few books by successful people who mention it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger mentions it in his Book “Total Recall” I put a link to his book in the description section of this video. It’s well worth the read. But anyway The book has a list, it’s called Arnold’s 6 Rules for Success.
Rule number 6 says Ignore Naysayers. Naysayers are negative. Ive got to say again. Avoid negative people, If you have someone in your life who is constantly downing your goals or ideas they are a naysayer and they will discourage you from achieving your goals.
Arnold’s not the only guy who says this kind of thing.
The Stoic Philosopher Seneca mention it in his book. “On the Shortness of Life. ( I posted a link for this book in the description as well.
Seneca outlines 8 Reasons Why you’ll make it through life having never succeeded your goals. Reasons Number 5 and 6 both deal with the you allow into your your life.
5. Says Worrying what people think about you. So, don’t be consumed by the thoughts of negative people and their thoughts or so called advice.
6. Self Imposed servitude to thankless people. So, essentially doing things for people who don’t return the favor.
If you are constantly doing this for friends, or a significant other or family and you aren’t getting something in return EVER.
If someone frequently asks you for favor and never returns the favor. Then they are aren’t valuing yourself.
This is a one sided relationship. You are allowing someone to take advantage of you. In the process of being overly giving you will start to devalue yourself.
This negative way of thinking is something you cant afford if you plan on staying focused on your goals. Because it will slow you down.
Look Negative people are everywhere. We all know them or maybe we know a few of them.
Negative people love to give their unsolicited opinion especially when they see your trying to better your life.
A few years ago, before I started Total Body Training I was working out at a big box gym.
I was power lifting but also training for a full marathon. It had been a goal of mine to do this for a few months and I was really excited when that day came and I actually completed a full 26.2 miles.
But something funny happened.
Before I ran the marathon , it seemed like anyone I told in the gym about my goal had something negative to say.
Especially, after the marathon. I would wear my race shirt while lifting and people came up to me, people I didn’t know and told me… Hey Bra your killing your gains man. “ hey man you can run and lift man. “ Hey man why are your running if your lifting.
Part of this is true. When you run a marathon, you do loose mass but the constant uninvited, often intentionally negative comments about my goal of completing a goal, A goal that few people would have the guts to do was being put down.
I wasn’t asking for people advice about gaining mass. I wasn’t trying to gain mass. These negative people would just tell me this because their negative. Look negative people don’t understand anything besides perspective on life.
They will always find some kind of thing to critique. What was happening was simple.
They didn’t to understand that my goals aren’t the same as theirs. They couldn’t see that I valued a commitment to running. They couldn’t see that running and preparing for a marathon was teaching me discipline. That discipline was fundamentally changing my character.
It was teaching me to be a more focused and committed person and I really wanted that. It wasn’t about gains bra. It was about personal growth.
Negative people love to share their opinion whenever you start working on yourself because it reminds them of their lack of success in life. OUCH. That’s right, you heard it.
Look I am not a psychologist but I think, they are usually deeply self-conscious.
At least that’s what I think. In a way you should pitty them. Just think about. Think about a naysayer in your life. Are they happy? Are they accomplishing great things? The answer is No. They aren’t.
Here how I suggest you treat the person. if its someone unimportant (not a friend, coworker or family member just get them out of your life or ignore them.
But if its someone more important (i.e. family, friends, coworker) try this 1st “Say thanks but no thanks. Just tell them I don’t need your negative input. Please, keep it to yourself.
2nd If the person persists , then if possible don’t spend as much time with them They are a drain on you. And if they ask you why your avoiding them, tell them its because of their negativity. Tell them you already warned them and you had to take matters into your own hands.
If you look at the lives of a negative person, they usually aren’t happy or successful. Why would you take their opinions into consideration? They aren’t positive roll models.
We should instead try to be around be people who are going places with their life. You should hang with people who are like you, people who are focused and committed to achieving their goals. You can also hang out with someone who is ahead of you. Someone who can admire and learn from. These are the kinds of people we should be around.
SO, avoid negative people. All they will do is bring you down. Get with positive people. They will uplift you and help you grow into the person you want to be. Again, Avoid negative People.
Books Mentioned in the Video:
Total Recall by Arnold Scharzenegger
http://amzn.to/2ef8yRD
Audio Version:
http://amzn.to/2dp4WcB
On The Shortness of Life by Senecca
http://amzn.to/2e5n1Td
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